Xichigan Football Loses Spring Game, Yikes

All Buckeyes fans had an appointment with their television this past Saturday at 1 EST/Noon CST. The xichigan football spring game. The old saying applies of keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I mentioned that I watched TTUNs spring game to one of my Penn State buddies and he looked at me like I said something preposterous. It’s not like I said something crazy like James Franklin is an above average coach. That’s just an outright lie. He’s a bald bitch that simply doesn’t win football games. That extension he got was well deserved and I’m sure all Penn State fans are thrilled to win 8 games a year and play in the new era pinstripe bowl. I’ll leave Penn State alone for now and won’t mention that Joe Pa knew.

I’ll start my recap of the TTUN spring game with how depressing of a crowd there was at the game. I think there may have been just a few thousand people in the stands. One would think after their best season in two decades that the fanbase would be scaling the walls of the stadium to watch a second of xichigan football. I mean I just don’t get it. Being raised in Columbus Ohio where buckeyes football is religion, I just can’t relate to all the TTUN fans and students in Ann Arbor that didn’t go to the game. Maybe they had better things to do like pre game for their basketball team playing in the final four since they are a basketball school. Oh shit never mind, they lost in the sweet 16. Juwaan Howard. Jail.

Another reason you would think the spring game would have drawn a bigger crowd was for the halftime entertainment. Mr America himself, Collin Kapernick… Why the hell is anybody entertaining the idea of keeping this loser relevant? He had one really good year in the pros then sucked. Would he still have been better than most of the backups in the league? Sure but people have been black balled for less. Pete Rose got banned from the MLB for betting on his team to win. I am all for proving a point and standing for what you believe in. But maybe don’t completely disrespect the country you live in and bite the hand that feeds you along the process. He threw the ball well but who cares? I could’ve gone out there and made a few good throws playing against air.

As for the football that mattered. Not good. The overall offense was dog shit. There were a few explosive plays but for the most part it was your standard Harbaugh offense. 1980 ground and pound. Even the punts were bad and they got plenty of opportunities. The defense has some big holes in the secondary it appears. If the quarterbacks had an accuracy at all they could have torched the defensive backs. There were a couple DBs that just fell over in coverage but the pass sailed 10 feet over the WRs head. But If the ball did hit the WR in the hands there were quite a few drops. Overall I have no fear of this team at the moment. Current prediction for when we play these assholes in the shoe: 72-13 Buckeyes. Extreme confidence.

-Woody

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